Missing the Garhwal Hills

Not a day goes by that I do not think about India, my second home. I often sit on the balcony in the evening watching the sunset, remembering how I used to watch the sun sink behind the hills from my host family's front steps. I long to see the neighbor ladies all sitting together with their knitting and neighborhood gossip. I think back to my language route and my visits with the shop keepers. Trying to understand the game of cricket, practicing my Hindi, discussing a wide array of topics. I miss my Indian clothes, the comfort and colors. I crave Indian food, the spices and flavors. I ache to be back there, where everything is so familiar, where I know and love the culture, to see my friends, visiting over chai and pakoras just like old times. I miss the sights, smells and sounds. I miss hearing and speaking Hindi. I miss India so much!
I keep telling myself that another year and a half isn't that long. But it feels like ages!! God has imprinted India and her beautiful people so deeply upon my heart. India shall forever be home.

Jai Hind!!! Happy Birthday India!!!!

Jai Hind  जय हिंद "Victory to India" or "Long live India"

On 15 August 1947 India gained independence from British rule. While India is made up of many religions, people and a vast culture, the people of India share one common bond...their homeland. No matter if they are Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist or any of the various other religions, they can gather around and hoist the Indian flag united in peace, proud to be Hindustani.

 

 

 

Wordless Wednesday

India, graduations, wedding, family and fun!!

It's been too long since I updated this last. I am so sorry for being MIA. :( 
Anyway. At the end of April I began my break by making a two week trip to India. It was so good to see and visit with so many of my friends there. :) I've missed them all too much! Here's a couple of pictures from my time there.

One of the neighbor kids and I

This is my host mom and dad. Aren't they fun?

This is one of my dear friends

Hard at her studies

As well as going to India for two weeks, I also was able to spend a few weeks at home. I first went to Oklahoma for the annual Nomads conference and to spend some time with my team leaders who are at home now. Here's just a couple of pictures to highlight my time in Oklahoma. :)

Deakin

Zeke

   

Sadly I seem to have misplaced the SD card that had the most adorable picture of their older brother and his best friend. :(

My next stop was Iowa. My little sister and her two boys picked me up at the airport, and I'm pretty sure even Sammy remembered me. :) I'll try to limit the pictures here, but I have 5 nephews and one niece, plus there were two graduations, a wedding and LOTS of family time since my parents were home, so please bare with me as I show off my beautiful family. :)

Eli, one of the goofiest, smartest kids ever

Sam, lover of all things in nature

Just a little action shot!

Two of the most beautiful women I know Great Gma Fern & Mom

Congrats Amanda, er I mean, Anna!!

Way to go Kry!!

Jude Dude and Grandma Pam

Noah loves to share his ice cream with Grandpa Keith!

Noah showing off his helicopter

Toby will steal your heart in no time!

Kaili Sue making goofy faces with Grandma Pam

Welcome to the family Ashley! You are gorgeous! You too Jake

I would LOVE to show you more pictures of my break, but there are so many I don't know that I could choose, and you might get board. ;)
I am now back in the Fils, truckin' away at my schooling and catching babies. :) I'll post some pics of the two I've caught since being back soon. In the meantime, I hope you are doing well. Send me a note and let me know how you are doing!! I love hearing from you!
~sara~

Mixed feelings

So, I fly out for India tomorrow. And I can't wait! But I'm also nervous. I'm excited to be in a place I call home again. But what if it doesn't seem like home anymore? I can't wait to see all the beautiful Indian people. But what if I view them in a different light than I once did? I'm looking forward to hearing the sounds, seeing the sights, and smelling the odors that are India. But what if the sounds, sights and odors that I once was attracted to are now repulsive to me?
What if I have remembered and glorified India in such a way that when I step off the plane everything that I once held so close to my heart is the last thing that I now desire? This is what makes me nervous. I love India and I don't want to do anything other than that, love India. And so this trip makes me a bit nervous because my love for India, her people and her culture may change in the blink of an eye. And I do not want that.
Please lift me up to the Father as I travel to, arrive and travel in India. Ask that any changes in my thoughts, views and heart toward India will have only made my bond there stronger. Ask that as I meet up with all my friends that we will have a sweet time of reconnecting and that our friendship will be strengthened and renewed. Ask that all the nervousness I have right now will be put to rest in Him. But most of all, ask that while I am there, that His light will shine through me.

**WARNING** BRUTALLY HONEST POST!!

If you don't want to read about a missionary who struggles, who sometimes often doesn't want to be where she is, longs to be elsewhere and on some days wants to give up, than please, read no further.


However, if you are ok with hearing the honest truth of the struggles, longings, and wantings to give up, than please, continue on.


I would like to take a moment and be brutally honest with you...


Some days I really don't want to be here in the Philippines. I do not connect with the culture here (don't get me wrong, I do love the girls that I live with and I enjoy the woman who come for prenatals). I don't like that everyone here is so western but not. It's like they are trying to be someone they aren't. I feel like we eat the same (good, but the same) food all the time. And I HATE country music and that's the favorite genre of everyone here.


Some days I just want to talk to my family and friends without either getting up really early or staying up late. I hate that when I do try and call my family they never answer their phone. I hate that I wasn't able to even wish my nephew a happy birthday yet (and it's already been five days since his birthday) let alone celebrate with him. I hate that I've missed three of my nephews births and I'll miss this next one too.


Sometimes I would love to be able to bake something when I have all the ingredients readily available. To be able to make something and not have to think about what I need to substitute for something I can't get. Or to be able to try a recipe that calls for specialty ingredients. To not have to try and get things to bake right, struggling with the humidity and everything.


Some days I really just want to have a normal job, 9 to 5. Monday through Friday. To be able to get up in the morning and actually GO to work...get in my car and drive across town, park, and walk into my work place. Have a lunch break. Work through the afternoon and get off at five. To be able to go home and cook dinner in my own kitchen that is decorated how I want it and has all the utensils I could ever DREAM of having (including a can opener that ACTUALLY works!!).


Some days I just want to have my own home. To not share everything with everybody. To be able to leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight and it not't matter to anyone but me. To have a house to myself, not having people around me CONSTANTLY!! (since I moved here in August I've only been completely alone in the house twice) To be able to be me, without having people telling me don't do that, don't say things that way, or you should do this or be this.


 
Some days I just want to give up. I want to go home. I want to have a car, a home and eventually, a family. I read about my friends who are married and have several children. I see on Facebook that even some of my campers are having babies!! And I wonder, will I ever get married? Will I ever have a family? Some days I just want to say, "That's it. I've had enough. I'm going home." I want to say to God, "Here, take it. This burden you've given to me...I can't handle it anymore. You can have it back."




These are just a few of the things that I struggle with, usually in one area or another almost every day. I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I know that God has me here for a reason, that the training I am receiving will help to reach the woman of north India. And I know that God is faithful and will see me through, even through these hard times. But I also wanted to be honest so that you know that I do struggle. So that you can pray for me, write me notes of encouragement. I miss home and I want to be there, but I will continue on.


I am reminded of Paul when he was writing to the believers at Philippi. Paul was struggling with his longing to be with Jesus, to be home. He says that if he was given the choice to stay or go, he knows he would stay for their sake. Given the choice, it would be tough, and I'm really not sure what I would choose at this point (it's been a pretty tough day), but I hope that I would choose to stay. To continue on. Knowing that it my struggles will be to the benefit of the Jaunsari people.


If you are shocked by my honesty, I am sorry. I simply wanted you to know my struggles, my burdens. Thank you for listening.
~sara~

जय हिंद - Jai Hind

Jai Hind  जय हिंद "Victory to India" or "Long live India"

Today 63 years ago India gained it's independence from over 200 years of British rule. I just wanted to take a moment today to share a couple of videos and pictures.

Indian Development Foundation

Sulekha

 

Happy Independence Day India!!!

जय हिंद - Jai Hind