What makes you a H!ndu?

Before I left the states I went to really neat and helpful conference about working among H!ndus. One of the things they talked about was how H!ndu!sm really isn’t a r3ligion. Because it is MANY r3ligions and to define as one is a HUGE mistake simply because each r3ligion within “H!ndu!sm” is vastly different from the others within “H!ndu!sm”. While I enjoyed learning about this I had wondered how I would see this within !nd!a once I got here.

Well, two days ago as I was talking to Rashib(a guy on my language route) he said basically this same thing. I asked him how he viewd “H!ndu!sm.” He said that being
H!ndu simply means you are from !nd!a. He said that you can be H!ndu and believe in Ram. You can be H!ndu and believe in All@h. You can be H!ndu and believe in J3sus. H!ndu!sm is more of a citizenship than it is anything else.

It was a really good conversation and what I wrote doesn’t really do it justice. Please keep Rashib in your notes. Every time I talked to him we always have very interesting conversations. We’ve talked about the history of !nd!a, !nd!an culture, American culture, Bollywood, Hollywood, taking care of aging parents, r3ligion of all types, and many other things. He’s said that he’s read the B!ble and that there are many things in it he doesn’t understand. We’ve discussed a few of these things as friends and it’s been really good. I enjoy each visit I have with him and I ask Dad every day to continue to open his heart more to hear Him.

Well, I need to go out on my route. I hope you will keep Rashib in your notes and myself as I live here to spread the Kingdom.

Love/hate relationship

If you know me very well, you know that I love to read. I will read almost anything I can get my hands on. But my favorite author is Ted Dekker. This man is, I think, the most talented author of all times. And, I’m sure that if you have read any of his books you also will, at least in some part, agree with me.
My best friend is also a big fan of Dekker. In fact, when we were living together we would put in a request for purchase at our local library(yes, you can ask your library to purchase a book) before it was even printed! Then when we got the letter or phone call from the library saying the book was in, we would drop EVERYTHING(no matter what we were doing), jump in the car and rush to the library pick it up. All the way home we would be fighting about who got to read it first. One time she won the fight(I don’t remember how) but had to help her kids with their homeschool and cook dinner when we got home. Well, I couldn’t just leave a Dekker book laying there not being loved, so I did what anyone would do. I picked it up ever so gently and went to my bedroom to begin reading. I was in maybe the third chapter before Leslie realized the book was gone. I was sitting in front of my door so that she couldn’t come in. She went and grabbed one of our BIGGEST knives and proceeded to try and stab my butt!! I ended up having to give up the book, but it only took her a couple days to read it, so it was ok.
Anyway. Back to the reason I’m writing. I’ve decided I have a love/hate relationship with Ted Dekker. I love his books! As far as fiction goes, there is not any other author I’ve read that can even BEGIN to compare with Dekker. He writes in such a way that you become part of the book. The book is your life, you no longer belong to this reality.(gotta love the Circle Trilogy!!) Once I start reading one of his works I cannot bring myself to put it down. And when I do manage to set it aside for awhile, I spend quite a bit of time trying to figure out what is going to happen next(near to impossible). And I love this. I love the adventure that his books are filled with. I love how you can leave this world and enter another, all just by opening a book. I love the suspense and mystery of trying to guess what is going to happen next just to be blown away by something that you could have NEVER seen coming!! I love all of this.
But I also hate it. I hate it because I know that as soon as I finish the book my life as I knew it for those few hundred pages will be over. Done. Finished. Caput. Khantum. OVER.
The closer I get to the end of the book the more I just want to know how it all ends. But I don’t want my life, er, I mean the book, to be over. I begin to become VERY anxious. Wanting to know what happens, but not wanting the book to be over. And this is where I begin to hate Dekker. He totally ruins my life! Drawing me into this story. Making me become part of the story. Opening a new world to me. And I think, “How did I live before, not knowing what I know now.” And then, so suddenly, it’s done. OVER. And my life as I knew it is over. And I have no idea how to begin picking up the pieces. Where do I start my life again? Where did I leave it before I started reading? What was I doing? And I walk through life for awhile in a sort of daze. Thinking about my life as it was in the book and how it is now.
Finally, I am able to move on. I begin life again. And I enjoy it. This is life. This is the real world. This is how it should be.
Then, another book is released. And I can’t help myself. I get the book and begin reading. I enter the other reality and I begin to doubt this reality.

The (not so) hated dupatta

So, shortly after I got here eight months ago I wrote an entry called The Hated Dupata. While it was at first VERY irritating it has somewhat grown on me. So much so that when I do go home I will have issues when leaving the house because I will feel like I am forgetting something very important.
I have also begun to notice many uses for a dupata other than the obvious, being used for modesty.

Snot rag - I’ve seen MANY mothers using their dupata to wipe a babies nose when there was nothing else handy.

Cheese Cloth - At Thanksgiving I made homemade pumpkin pie. Usually I bake the pumpkin, but this time I thought I’d steam it because it would be MUCH quicker. However, the problem I ran into was that the pumpkin was then WAY too wet. So, my host mom whipped out one of her dupatas and began scooping the pumpkin into it. We then hung it overnight and by the next day it was ready to use!

Hammock - I’ve seen dupata used as a hammock/baby cradle many times. You simply string it up between two trees or poles and rock baby to sleep.

Towel - When I was in Mumb@i last month we spent some time at the beach but didn’t bring any towels with us. So, we used out dupatas to wipe the salt water from our faces.

Shade - When it is hot and there is  no shade in site, fear not if you are waring a dupata! Simply hold one side over your head for instant relief from the hot sun!!

Fan - And along those same lines, you can also use your dupata for a makeshift fan. It’s not perfect, but will work in a pinch.

Noose - Now, now. I know what you are thinking, but this one was not thought up by me. I was talking about all the uses for a dupata with my host mom one day and she said this one.

Washcloth - While a dupata can be used as a towel, you can also use it as a washcloth. If you use one end as a wash cloth then you can use the other as a towel.

Makeshift bag - When Suzy and I were living at the hostel our madam was telling us that when they are worshiping they often bring grain in their dupata as an offering.

Hair net - When cooking it can be placed over the head to make sure no hairs get into the food.

Bonnet - While driving with the windows down, or on a bike you can tie your dupata around your head to keep the wind from messing up your hair.

Camouflage - There are lots of monkeys where we live. And while in the States we admire them in the zoo and enjoy watching them on TV, here they are greatly feared. Many times a bag of fruit has been snatched out of someone’s hand while walking down the street by one of these mangey creatures. So to avoid this fate many woman hide their bags under their dupata.

Head covering - When Suzy and I were in D3lhi one time we went to the Toilet Museum. (Yes, you heard me right) It was slightly interesting(the most fun was the rickshaw driver having to ask several people where it was and the look on their faces) and we learned that while going to the bathroom a woman should cover her head with her dupata. Also, when visiting a temple a woman should also cover her head with her dupata.

So, as you can see, the dupata was at first my worst enemy. But over these past few months it has become a constant friend. I hope you enjoyed reading about the uses of a dupata! I had fun putting the list together. :D

Purple Puppet Cow

My mom used to tell me a poem when I was little.

I’ve never seen a purple cow.
I never wish to see one.
But I can tell you anyhow,
I’d rather see then be one.

As a kid I always thought it was kind of a silly but cute poem. However, this month it has brought on a different meaning for me.
I’ve spent the month in another town with my host family. This town is somewhat big but doesn’t see foreigners very often. So every time I went out somewhere, wether to the market or to visit someone, people would stare at me as if I’d turned into a purple cow. At first I didn’t notice it much because almost everywhere I go this happens a bit. But one day Karishma and I took a rickshaw by our selves to one of her aunts house and I got SSSSOOOO many stares and some guys even made some crude comments. And ever since that day I’ve noticed how much people really stare at me, and it’s gotten on my nerves quite a bit. I’ve wanted to stare right back at them and shout “Me baingine gai nehi houn!!” Which means, “I’m not a purple cow!!”
I don’t think this will ever change though and I’ll just have to go back to ignoring it.

Something I learned about myself this month is that I do not like being a puppet(I’m pretty sure no one does really). Every house we went to Sitara would tell me to say “Salaam Walicoom” which is a Musl!m greeting. But, she wouldn’t even give me a chance to say it on my own before she would tell me. Then she would instruct me to tell about myself. Each time this happened I felt like such a puppet on a string, and it was really frustrating.

But, despite each of these irritants, I had a really good time. It was fun to meet the Ansari’s extended family. And it was especially fun going to Mumb@i!! I’ll be coming back here in about a month for the wedding of Salim’s younger brother. I am looking forward to seeing everyone again.

New Home

Well, I’ve moved again. I sent an email out last week about it, but for those of you who don’t get email updates(by the way, if you’d like to get them just email me at szellmer@mountainfeet.biz and I’ll add you to my list) I’ll fill you in.

While I’ve completely loved living with a family there are a few difficulties. One of the biggest is that I can’t control my schedule. Language learning has been difficult because my family is always wanting to do something or go somewhere. And this can be good too. I’ve been able to go to many wedding with them, go on picnics, play games and last week we went to R!sh!kesh for the day. But when this takes up the majority of my time it can become something that is not ideal. The other issue I have had is that the family I was living with is Musl!m. I have obsoletely nothing against Musl!ms, so don’t take me wrong here. However, our target people are H!ndu and I’ve found that while living with a
Musl!m family your circle of friends are mostly Musl!m also. I love all my Musl!m friends here, but I want to be able to get to know more H!ndu people. I will not by any means be neglecting the friends I already have, but am hoping to open up more doors into our target people.

So, Suzy and I found a house that is right across the street from the family she has been living with. It only has one bedroom, but it has a big living room with two single beds that will double as couches during the day. It has a kitchen and bathroom and one other kind of hallway/room. The only drawback with it is that it has very tall ceilings(I know, in the State’s I’d love this too!!) which stinks because during the winter all the heat will rise and it will be a bit difficult to keep it warm. But other than that I really love it!

I moved in on the first and Suzy will move in February. It was pretty difficult moving out, especially for my host family. But I live just down the street from them and tomorrow I’ll be going with them to another town to visit their family for a few weeks.

Bartering... How To

Living overseas you have to learn how to do certain things. One of them is how to barter. Did you know that even in a “fixed price” shop you can usually talk the shop keeper down a little bit? I’ve had a lot of fun learning how to barter since I moved to !nd!a. At first I was a bit shy in this area, and when I would try it, I didn’t start very low so I’d end up only getting 20 rupees off whatever it was I was buying. (That’s when you start hearing things like, “For you, special price, 10 rupees [20 cents] less.”)  But I’ve gotten much better. The best buy I have gotten yet was when Suzy and I went to D3lhi the second time for my passport. We were walking down the street not really even intending to buy anything when these little elephant key chains caught my eye. My sister’s birthday was coming up, so knowing she likes elephants, I asked the guy how much they were. He said they were 250 rupees (about $5). I was utterly shocked! I said “250 rupees for ONE?!?!” He then informed me that it was for the whole package of five. Well, I only wanted one, so I asked how much for just one. “Oh, we cannot sell just one. They come in a package.” I said no thanks and began walking away, fully intending not to buy them. But as I was walking away he said, “Ok, Ok madam. How much?” I looked directly at him and said “30 rupees.” He then said he’d give them to me for 225. “No, 30 rupees is all I will pay.” And I walked away. “Ok, ok madam. How much?” “30 rupees is all I will pay.” “Ok, for you, 200 rupees.” “No sir. I don’t think you understand. I will not pay any more than 30 rupees because I only want one. I don’t want the whole package.” And I walked away again. This happened several times. He’d call me back, ask how much, I’d say 30 rupees, he’d go down with his price a little bit, and I’d walk away only to be called back again. Finally he was down to about 100 rupees when I looked him in the eye and said, “Sir. I only want ONE of these elephants. I don’t want the whole package. And because I only want ONE, I will only pay 30 rupees. I will NOT pay any more than that. If you don’t want to sell them for that price, that’s fine. Your choice, but I will not pay more than 30 rupees.” And I walked away. “Ok, Ok madam. For you, 30 rupees.” I was completely shocked and utterly amazed that I actually got five elephant key chains for only 30 rupees!! HA!!

So, what have I learned from all the bartering that I’ve done? Here are a few things to keep in mind.

1.) Do not look overly interested. If you show your excitement for a certain item the price has already doubled what they normally charge a foreigner. 
2.) Befriend the shopkeeper. Comment on how lovely his store is, or about how he has such a great location, or something. Getting on his good side should help you out. Also, if you’ve bought things from him before, be sure to mention it and how satisfied you were with the item you purchased. Also ask him how business has been that day. If he hasn’t had very many customers he will be more likely to agree to a lower price.
3.) Ask for a discount. Before you even offer a counter price, ask them what kind of discount they will give you. Again, this is especially true if you’ve bought from him before. But even if you haven’t, don’t be afraid to ask what discount he will give you. And if you are planning on buying a couple of things from the same shop, ALWAYS mention that you are buying SO MUCH, even if it’s really only two or three things.
4.) Start VERY low. Once he gives you his discounted price keep in mind that this is still probably at LEAST double what it should really cost, if not three or four times that price. A good rule of thumb is to try for a third of the price. He might laugh at you or look completely shocked, but this is his job. He’s been doing this for MANY years. He wants you to think the price you’ve offered is absurd and may indeed be shocked because most foreigners are usually too naive (they haven’t read my bartering tips) to know better and just pay what he quotes, or if they do barter don’t start low enough. So, they end up only getting about a 2% discount and are very happy with the fact that they bartered all on their own and got “such a good price!”   He’s trying to get as much money out of you as he can. Don’t be misled.
5.) Don’t be afraid to walk away. When you show that you are willing to walk away with nothing when you don’t get the price you want, he will know that you mean business. `Most likely he will call you back saying, “Ok, ok. How much?” This is when it can become a bit tricky. You don’t want to raise your price too much too fast. It is usually a good idea to try and stick with or at the very least close to your original price. Have in mind the maximum you are willing to pay for the item noting that the price should be less than half of what he first quoted. If he doesn’t go down with his price much or at all, say no thanks (it is important to remain polite, but firm) and walk away. And he’ll probably call you back again. This processes could repeat itself many times.
6.) Do not convert the price to dollars. Try and think in the local currency. When you convert the price he is quoting to dollars you only end up thinking, “Wow! That’s not such a bad price. It’s a few dollars cheaper than something like this would be at home.” EEERNK [nasally] BAD idea!! This WILL NOT get you a good price and will only prove that foreigners will pay any price, and the next time you come there the price will have doubled again. THINK IN THE LOCAL CURRENCY!!! I cannot emphasize this point  enough. THINK IN THE LOCAL CURRENCY!!!
7.) DO NOT CAVE!!  This is very important! You will hear things like, “How will I feed my family?” and “If it was up to me, but my boss...” or “My cost is this much, (BALONEY!!) how can I give it to you for less than what I paid?” He will pull every trick out that he can to keep the price as high as he can. Your goal is to get a good price. If you listen to any of these tricks, even for a split second, you have a very high chance of caving. REMAIN STRONG. I know you can do it! Show me what you’re made of.
8.) Have fun. If you don’t have fun with this, it will not be a good experience, and even if you get a really good price, it won’t be a good memory for you. Every time you look at what you bought, you will remember the stress of buying it. Plus depending on where you are, many shop keepers enjoy bartering, even if they don’t show it.
9.) Remain upbeat and polite.  This can be a delicate balance, but once you find it, it’s pretty easy to maintain and begin perfecting. The reason it can be difficult is because you have to be firm with the price you want, but in a friendly, carefree way. You’ve already befriended the shopkeeper at this point, now you want to remain friends.
10.) Speak in the local language if possible. Even if it is just a couple of words or you don’t know if you can say them correctly, use them anyway. If you say the words right, you will not only impress the shopkeeper, but you may make him wonder how much more you know. It kind of puts him on his toes in a way. If your pronunciation is bad or even horrible, you can have a good laugh about it together. He’ll also be happy that you care enough about his country to learn some of his language. This will help you become friends with him, too.

This is what I’ve come up with so far. It is not an exhaustive list, but it will get you started. If you’ve done some good bartering already let me know what it was like. If there is a trick you used, or a tip you think others should know, email me and I’ll add it to the list. I hope you have a great shopping experience next time you travel!

Technical Difficulties.

I’ve got lots to say right now, but not much time to say it. So, I’ll wait with all of that for a future post. But I wanted to let you all know why I no longer have pictures on my website. About two weeks ago Suzy and I went to D3lhi for a couple of days. When we got back I was doing a Mac OS X combined update for my computer but it didn’t install all the way and as a result my computer wouldn’t turn on. I tried a few things, called my brother and tried some things he suggested, but to no avail. However, lucky me, there is an authorized Apple place in D3hra D.n, so last Monday Suzy and I got on a bus again and heading the D.D.(only about one hour down the mountain) But, unlucky me, he was not able to do anything but erase my hard drive and reinstall Mac OS X. So, because I hadn’t gotten an external hard drive yet(stupid professional procrastinator that I am)  I lost EVERYTHING on my computer! Pictures(I can get them back from the Clover’s and Suzy though), music(the nice guy at that worked on my computer gave me his iTunes library though, complete with Michael Jackson, Aqua(Barbie Girl), Hannah Montana, Barbara Streisand, Britney Spears, The Doors, The Eagles, Elton John, Elvis Presley, Grateful Dead, Hillary Duff, Jimi Hendrix, Jonas Brothers, Josie and the Pussycats, and Linkin Park, among MANY others!!) all my knitting patterns and recipes, quasi important documents(many of these I had in emails, so that ended up being ok)  EVERYTHING!!! It was really frustrating. Also included in the loss was my iWeb(the program I use to make this website) which meant that I had to copy and past my website from the web back into iWeb in order to keep what I already had posted. Grrrr. I did the blog part of it first because that was pretty easy. But I got really tired of it so I decided not to do the pictures. So, that I why there are not pictures on here anymore(other that what was on my blog updates). But I’ll try and get some pictures uploaded again soon. And I have a camera of my own now, so I don’t have to kidnap pictures from the Clovers or Suzy anymore. :)


Oh, and needless to say, I bought an external hard drive the day I was in D.D. and have been backing up my computer on a regular biases. I think I’ve also been an inspiration to the Clovers and Suzy because they’ve been backing theirs up more often too. ; )