Tickling the heart of God

Have you ever thought about tickling the heart of God? You know how when a small child tells you the cutest thing you've ever heard? Or when a child brings you the biggest arm full of freshly picked dandelions...all the stems so short that there is no way you can put them in a vase, so instead you just put them in a bowl of water? Or when you lay on the top of a hill watching the clouds together and that sweet little child's imagination just runs wild with what they see in the clouds? Or when after having to discipline a small loved one and they look up at you, tears still fresh in their eyes and they simply say, "I love you." And your heart just melts, so in love with that child. Tickled that they love you no matter what you do. No matter how many mistakes you make. No matter if you forgot them at church or even at the grocery store.

Sometimes I like to imagine my self frolicking through a meadow with Jesus, chasing each other across the hills. Picking wildflowers with Him, chasing butterflies, laughing over the silliest little things, and then tumbling to the ground, laying there giggling like little children. Watching the clouds overhead and falling asleep in the sweet sunshine. Then walking down to the little stream and sitting on a log that lays from one bank to the other, dangling our toes in the cool water. Talking about everything and nothing. Just like the old friends that we are.
One day, I hope that I can find this meadow for real...just like I picture it in my head. A few rolling hills, covered in wildflowers. A nice sunny day, not too hot. A small breeze that just barely stirs the grass and flowers. Beautiful butterflies floating from one flower to the next. Little birds singing a sweet song of praise. Clouds drifting through the sky, just the perfect kind for watching. A gentle brook, lined with trees that give just enough shade from the late afternoon sun, with that log that rests over the water in the perfect place to dangle your feet and visit. And I'll stay there all day with Jesus. When I get hungry there will be a berry patch filled with strawberries, blueberries and raspberries. When I get sleepy, I'll lay in the sun and rest. If I'm thirsty I can drink from the brook. But the whole day I'll be with Jesus in this perfect, wonderful, undisturbed place. And it will tickle His heart to spend the whole day with me, and I with Him. Talking and running and laughing like old friends.
But until I find this meadow...I content myself with the one in my head. And when the stress of this life becomes too much for me...this is where I retreat to. And I cherish these moments with Jesus. In childlike innocence I enjoy His love, His presence and His joy. And it is so refreshing! And I know that it tickles His heart to meet me there.

How about you? Do you have a place that you imagine going to? A place of retreat with Jesus? How do you picture tickling the heart of Jesus?

Sweet baby Gabriel

There is nothing sweeter than seeing a new life come into this world. And there is nothing more bitter than watching that same life slip away just hours later.
My patient pushed her 4kg (8lb 4oz) son into the world at 2:08am after a VERY difficult labor with intense back pain. It was her first baby and she was so excited to finally meet him. But within less than a minute of his birth it was clear that he was not yet breathing very well. He would sort of gasp, but that was it. So for the next 15-20 minutes we fought to get this baby to breath. We tried to stimulate him and we did PPV. We deep suctioned him, but he was still struggling. He was gasping, had nasal flaring and retractions. Within 40 minutes after he was born we transported him to the local hospital.
The next morning after hearing that Ian Dave was not doing so well we talked with the family about transporting him to Tugugarao (an hour and a half drive) since the hospital there has a NICU. They decided that they would transport if one of us could go with to help advocate for them. My friend Chel and I went with them.
When we got to the hospital I could tell that that little Ian Dave had only a slim chance. He was very pale and his fingernails were quite blue. But I prayed so hard that he would make it.
About 15 minutes into the drive the baby's auntie who was holding him asked if we could stop and check him because he didn't seem to be breathing. He took a couple gasps and then nothing. The nurse in the ambulance did not have a stethoscope with and I couldn't find a pulse, so I began doing chest compressions on his tiny body. His color would get better for a little bit, but then it he would become pale again. I continued doing chest compressions all the way to the hospital, praying the entire way.
When we got to the hospital the Dr. assessed him and couldn't locate a heartbeat at first. They continued doing chest compressions and finally were able to hear the heartbeat. They gave him an injection to help get his heart going, which seemed to help for a while, but soon the heartbeat would crash again. They tried to help Ian Dave. They tried hard. But in the end, Ian Dave went to be with Jesus.
My heart breaks for his mommy and daddy. I cannot even begin to imagine what they are going through. May came into the clinic at noon on Saturday, expecting to hold her baby soon, but instead she only got to hold his lifeless body 14 hours after he was born. I pray that God will comfort their breaking hearts, that He will wrap them close in His loving embrace. And that somehow, someway, healing comes. I pray that they always remember and honor their precious son, Ian Dave, but that the hurt they feel right now becomes less and less.
To Gabriel. A precious baby who was with us for such a short time, but that has left an impression on my heart and his family's hearts for all eternity.


*Names changed to protect the family.

Gabriel

Gabriel. We fought for you. We fought so hard for you. But now you are with Jesus. And I know that God will shine His glory through your life and death.
Thank you to all who prayed for this precious little baby, and his family who loved him dearly. Please continue to pray for his mom and dad and the rest of his family as they bury his body today.

*Name changed to protect family.