Saturday, February 13, 2010

Love/hate relationship

If you know me very well, you know that I love to read. I will read almost anything I can get my hands on. But my favorite author is Ted Dekker. This man is, I think, the most talented author of all times. And, I’m sure that if you have read any of his books you also will, at least in some part, agree with me.
My best friend is also a big fan of Dekker. In fact, when we were living together we would put in a request for purchase at our local library(yes, you can ask your library to purchase a book) before it was even printed! Then when we got the letter or phone call from the library saying the book was in, we would drop EVERYTHING(no matter what we were doing), jump in the car and rush to the library pick it up. All the way home we would be fighting about who got to read it first. One time she won the fight(I don’t remember how) but had to help her kids with their homeschool and cook dinner when we got home. Well, I couldn’t just leave a Dekker book laying there not being loved, so I did what anyone would do. I picked it up ever so gently and went to my bedroom to begin reading. I was in maybe the third chapter before Leslie realized the book was gone. I was sitting in front of my door so that she couldn’t come in. She went and grabbed one of our BIGGEST knives and proceeded to try and stab my butt!! I ended up having to give up the book, but it only took her a couple days to read it, so it was ok.
Anyway. Back to the reason I’m writing. I’ve decided I have a love/hate relationship with Ted Dekker. I love his books! As far as fiction goes, there is not any other author I’ve read that can even BEGIN to compare with Dekker. He writes in such a way that you become part of the book. The book is your life, you no longer belong to this reality.(gotta love the Circle Trilogy!!) Once I start reading one of his works I cannot bring myself to put it down. And when I do manage to set it aside for awhile, I spend quite a bit of time trying to figure out what is going to happen next(near to impossible). And I love this. I love the adventure that his books are filled with. I love how you can leave this world and enter another, all just by opening a book. I love the suspense and mystery of trying to guess what is going to happen next just to be blown away by something that you could have NEVER seen coming!! I love all of this.
But I also hate it. I hate it because I know that as soon as I finish the book my life as I knew it for those few hundred pages will be over. Done. Finished. Caput. Khantum. OVER.
The closer I get to the end of the book the more I just want to know how it all ends. But I don’t want my life, er, I mean the book, to be over. I begin to become VERY anxious. Wanting to know what happens, but not wanting the book to be over. And this is where I begin to hate Dekker. He totally ruins my life! Drawing me into this story. Making me become part of the story. Opening a new world to me. And I think, “How did I live before, not knowing what I know now.” And then, so suddenly, it’s done. OVER. And my life as I knew it is over. And I have no idea how to begin picking up the pieces. Where do I start my life again? Where did I leave it before I started reading? What was I doing? And I walk through life for awhile in a sort of daze. Thinking about my life as it was in the book and how it is now.
Finally, I am able to move on. I begin life again. And I enjoy it. This is life. This is the real world. This is how it should be.
Then, another book is released. And I can’t help myself. I get the book and begin reading. I enter the other reality and I begin to doubt this reality.

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